Why did I decide to minimize posting to Instagram in the beginning of Q2 of 2019?

I started my 3rd Instagram account with the single aim to document our project in 2019: it was my main joy after quitting my career and having to endure the verbally abusive man at home. For that account, I didn’t follow anyone so I won’t be distracted by the postings of others, after my previous accounts since 2013.

Instagram seemed to be the best avenue for a super busy mother who has no time to write blog posts.

However, Instagram forced me to provide my phone number thrice in the early July 2019. That’s enough! Worse, posts with my unique hashtags to document our project, are no longer searchable.

Yes, I have benefited in the past from beautiful travel Instagram pictures while I research for our trips. I like how Instagram put posts in 3/columns that allow easy viewing. I have also suffered from envy seeing others flaunt their rich/colorful lives.

But with my recent experience and disappointment, I asked what’s the point of sharing my creative contents with Instagram?

  • Instagram has become so controlling and getting annoying with more ads.
  • I set up an automatic posting for any of my Instagram posts to a wordpress account and a google drive, but it stopped doing so in early July.
  • I also wonder if the private accounts are really private, as Facebook data were stolen before.
  • There are other photo editing apps, for example Cymera that enables me to include Chinese Mandarin text.
  • There may be a time when Instagram will end up like Picasa who was discontinued or Facebook who was abandoned. I need to back-up my posts since 2013*!
  • Even  former Facebook executive, Chamath Palihapitiya,  will not let his own kids to use social media!

That’s why I decided to minimize posting to Instagram in the beginning of Q2 of 2019. I started by uninstalling the Instagram app from my phone. With the time freed from Instagram, I can read more books for myself and my children,  learn languages, exercising and playing with my children.

I just use my Instagram account on a laptop browser to appreciate photos taken and generously shared by others, and screenshot inspiring ones for future personal ref in case Instagram deletes them in the future!

Instead of posting to Instagram, I just include some searchable words in the file names of my photos, so I can revisit and review in the future. See ref2019/visual_diary_pte*

This disappointing Instagram experience also motivated me to reconsider my mode of storing data. I would prefer to primarily store offline (especially sensitive info e.g. bank details) and use the online storage as back-ups only. In the past, I used picasa a lot but later my albums were no longer visible.

*ref2019/backup_tasks*

 

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I feel more breathless than ever!

After the travel-related-sleep deprivation from the early 20190514 until the 5 pm when I really lightly slept at Crowne Plaza comfortable sofa but with frequent loud luggage wheel sound that I didn’t bother, I feel more breathless than ever.

Below are some tips according to Chinese Medicine:

“Try to avoid stress, as worry will weaken the Lung and Spleen and lead to breathlessness.

Try not to overwork, as this will weaken Kidney-Yin (and cause an insufficiency of body fluid) and will lead to chronic breathlessness.”

When Little Princess or Little Prince* is naughty, I feel stress.

Yes, I have visions for them to be successful but now I only hope that they will grow up healthily. I try not to be as ambitious, though I have been inspired to be ambitious since childhood thanks to my late Papa.

*On a positive note, when I reached home at 8.10 am on 20190514, I found a bouquet of carnation flowers that Little Prince got for me. Thank you my Darling! He is the man whom I love most in this world, especially when many people deserted me after I have no more $ coming in monthly.

 

Will you stay in a marriage without love?

I grew up watching how my late father loved my mother very much till the end of his age. He was not religious until the last few weeks of his life that he decided to be a Christian.

In contrast, as years have passed, I find myself in a marriage that has no love. He has not cherished me to the extent that I feel he is full of contempt at me and hence I have started to question myself why must I be nice to him.

The marriage covenant ends when this life ends. Jesus tells us in Luke 20:34-35 that there is no marriage in heaven. Marriage is an earthly institution with a heavenly purpose.

Honestly, I suffer from some forms of depressions from his stonewalling, which he said he enjoyed the past few months of stonewalling me, during the Easter 2019. But, it’s stupid! I must love myself more, do my own things.

Please stay safe in the swimming pools!

Few days before our trip to visit the Godmother of Little Prince on 20190419 (Good Friday), I often used “no swimming” when I could not use rewards to motivate them to do things. Then, on 20190418 I was presented with a news about a girl of the same age as Little Prince who drowned in a hotel in Sentosa and died days later 😦

I miss the swimming pools with lifeguards in the desert.

On 20190417, I also told mama not to swim at deep area even though she knows how to sleep, as I remember my 14-year-old senior who passed away from drowning due to leg cramps years ago.

Some gentle reminders for us:

  1. drowning is known to occur quickly and quietly between 20 and 60 seconds
  2. Do not swim in crowded pools
  3. Do not use mobile phones when supervising children swimming
  4. private swimming lessons are safer than group swimming lessons
  5. floating devices e.g. swimming board and float could not 100% guarantee safety.

***

Love in the front

On 20190417, I slept at ~ 3 am whereas Little Princess slept at ~ 1 am (I woke her up from her nap at ~ 6.30 pm on 20190416). I wanted to sleep already past midnight, but through a song about mother’s love, I discovered a movie that drove my curiosity to finish it thanks to YouTube.

Some lessons for us from 爱在前方:

  1. Never give up! The old man and the boy traveled by trains, buses, and on feet following weak clues to find the boy’s mother.
  2. While traveling, take a good care of our child(ren) as kidnappers are among us, including the son of the old man who is in the jail. The old man was panic when the boy went missing during an overnight stay.

The old man reminded me on my late Papa, and the naughty non-biological grandson made me feel the pain when Little Prince and Little Princess whined and were not listening to me. I could learn more from the old man, though once he broke into tears.

The 20190417 Little Princess who woke me up at ~10.50 am had been cranky. She bumped to a wall while walking and hit her head, so I told her to nap as we need to pick her brother at 4 pm.

Comparing and striving for mastery

I have been trained to compare things and people; these include others and myself.

On 20190414, I chanced upon an instagram of a mother (Hazliana) who reads a lot for her daughters and teaches them well in numeracy and literacy. She has also prepared sensory toys, her daughters have drawn colorfully or creatively, and they did a lot of crafts [1]. I am envious and worried for Little Princess ad I have not exposed her to much of sensory toys and we have not sent her to any school after she dropped out before turning 1 year old.

At least, from 20190416, I started posting materials that I taught Little Princess (see ref2019/done_agenda* for the Instagram tag). While it would not be able to out compete the colorful stuff that children are exposed at nursery and kindergartens, at least we had learned some things.

Then, on 20190415, I wasted my precious 1 hour (while Little Princess) was napping, browsing and learning more about a Miss World runner up whose look resemble the Godmother of Little Prince. I wondered what she has been up to. She is an entertainer (of course, with such a credential and good look!) and does missions.

I must stop comparing myself to others. I could always learn from others, but not feel low self-esteem.

I am not a bird that sing beautifully without a word.
I am not a bug who crawls in a mug.
I am not a dragon that sits in a wagon.
I am not a parrot that loves eating carrot.
I am no a squirrel that likes to quarrel.
I am a mother who loves reading for my chidlren,
while juggling the desire to simply cook healthy food for them.

***

[1] While we were browsing a book store on 20190416, Little princess requested me to buy for her a craft book containing a scissor and papers that can be cut to make items e.g. hats, umbrella, etc. However, the minimalist me who was worried of clutters told her “later, Darling!” Mama would buy for you only after you know how to color properly. I bought her a coloring book. For books that we can borrow from libraries, I would not by for Little Prince or Little Princess. Yes, that’s how frugal I am, especially I trade the hours of my life to spend more time with Little Princess instead of earning $.

Cogito, ergo sum

On 20190414, after the father of my Little Prince harshly told him that he would end up as a rubbish collector if he likes to draw but not to learn maths, Little Prince declared that he wants to be a pilot and an author, perhaps like the author of Le Petit Prince – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry . Thank you Miroslav Šašek for your positive influence on my Little Prince, even though you have passed away, your works have spoken to generations after you.

Then, while trimming the finger nails of Little Prince, I played a video of me reading I think I am by Louise Hay for him.

During dinner, I asked him if he likes the book. He replied, “Yes!”

What do you remember most from the book? He replied, “never give up!”